When did the mall become a dumpster fire? Seriously! Last weekend the wife talked me into taking my three kids and herself to the Fayette Mall in Lexington KY. This was an enormous mistake of epic proportions.
The mall has become a place where you go if you want to see every nationality that your local population has to offer. It is also the place to go if you are between the ages of 15 and 22 and need a place to hang out on the weekend. There is also category for the scantly clad underage girls and the ever growing gay community. Lets just say this is not where you want to take your children on a Saturday afternoon.
The moment that we walk in the door of the mall we are greeted with three teenagers that looked like 1986 puked them out of a time machine. One even had purple hair to match her Madonna fishnet stockings. I am fine with this, no big deal but it did cause my 5 year old to ask what was wrong with the girl with the purple hair. Hard questions get good answers. She got her finger caught in an electrical outlet son, and that is why we don’t play with electrical cords! Oh, okay daddy.
But it does not end there. Within 15 seconds after the electrical cord save we are walking down the main isle when two gay men dressed in rainbow striped tank tops and wearing Tom Cruise’s sun glasses from Top Gun come skipping right at us as if they are on the yellow brick road headed to see the Wizard of OZ. Thank God no questions were asked about that one but my oldest son did take a double look to make sure he was not dreaming and that he had actually seen the two Rainbow warriors skipping down the isle. He then looked up at me as if he was going to comment and I just said, You don’t want to know Son!
So here we are and for some reason every time I go to the mall I must go to a store called Lidz. It is a hat store. They must have 1000 different hats all in one place, and hats for me used to be like shoes for woman. I was not that guy that had a hat to go with different outfits but I was constantly on the search for the perfect hat. So this is a store that I must go and check out every time I visit the mall. Upon walking in the cramped store with every inch of the walls covered in a variety of hat I hear a loud man in the corner talking to two of the employees of the store. One of the employees was behind the checkout counter and the other was in front of the check out counter and both were listening to this pudgy guy that was wearing a backwards hat, a baggy t-shirt and shorts that were so long that they could have passed for women Capri pants. This guy was cussing and causing a scene with the volume at which he was talking, and I noticed that I was the only customer in the store. This guy had basically been so obnoxious that he had run all of the customers out of the store. I had pretty much had enough of the mall at this point and decided that I was going to ask this guy to calm down and be quit because I had my family with me and he was being very inconsiderate. So I proceed to approach the man and the closer I got to the individual I started to notice that he was wearing a necklace with a badge on it. At first I thought it was some kind of giant jewelry that would have been completely appropriate for the outfit that he had on, but I was wrong. In fact it was a name tag, with his name on it I assume, and it was titled Lidz Manager. Seriously, this is the guy that you hire to run your store? What is the world coming to when the manager of a retail chain dresses and acts like this. What example are we setting for our children when we say that this is okay behavior? So I see the badge and immediately turn and walk out of the store buying nothing. Truth is that I saw the hat that I wanted on the shelf and was willing and ready to buy until all of this happened.
Well, I had had enough of the mall for the day and 30 minutes after ariving at the mall, I loaded the family up and we left the mall. I have a feeling it will be a cold day in hell before I return to the Fayette mall to do any of my shopping. They can keep their purple hair, Rainbows, and Thug Life for themselves because I want no part of it.
On the flip note, I did discover where they all hang out and I will be avoiding them in the future.
The Mall of America
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