The Old Man and His Lost Remote

Over the last 15 Years my Dad has become more and more senile.  I started to notice his steep decline while I was living with him during my freshman year of College.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG. What in the world is going on, I said to myself as I tried to wake up from the night’s sleep. BANG BANG BANG BANG. Holy Shit, what is going on, is there a fire or something? That is when my Dad yelled, where is my remote?!?!?!?!

A little back story here. The truth was that I had hidden the remote! I did this to help the old man out. You see, every time he would start to watch TV he would use the wrong remote and cause the T.V. to stay on channel 3 and make it to where he could not figure out how to get the picture back on the T.V. So because I am a proactive person, I decided to hide it in the drawer of a cabinet in the T.V. room. Honestly, I did this for his own good.

What I didn’t account for was his persistence to be a moron. That morning he had turned on the TV, and when it didn’t respond the way he thought it should, he proceeded to walk up to the TV and start pushing buttons. All this did was make the problem a lot worse!  Now he is confused and pissed.

BANG BANG BANG BANG. What do you want? I want my gosh damn remote son. I know you hid it from me and I want it back.  Mad as a one legged dancer, I stomped to the door and slung it open. Get the F#$% out of the way old man. I walked to the cabinet and retrieved the remote. I then proceeded to set the TV up so he could watch his shows that morning.

Then that crazy old man decided that he wasn’t going to watch TV anymore, and that he was going to go ahead and go to bed for the day. A rage shot through me like a burrito from taco bell, and I cussed him up one side and down the other for waking me up at 6:30 in the morning, only to go to bed and not watch the TV he was so concerned with. He then proclaimed that I would not talk to my elders in this manner, and that is when I told him that if he would stop acting like a spoiled 10 year old I would treat him like the old man that he was. As I walked away from this situation back to my room, I offered to change his diaper if he so needed.  He grunted some obscenity in my direction and went to bed.

Don’t take any of this the wrong way. My Dad and I have a great relationship. Sometimes the old man has a few issues, and this time I was there to set him straight.

The Old Man and His Lost Remote